Here There Be Science; Here There Be Dragons!
Inspired by Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
The Sweetmeat Factory sits just outside the western border of Wozington. For many years it was run by the Sweetmeat Guild, a group of halflings dedicated to the creation and distribution of the highest quality sweets. At one point, Jay-Lo enters the factory and claims it as his own, driving out or imprisoning all halflings in the building. He established the factory as his base when he determined it was the ideal place to create confections enhanced by Elphabon’s potions. The plan was to distribute the sweets to members of uncommon races, allowing them the power to embolden them against the common races, which would result in tremendous conflict throughout the nation. The players enter the factory when they hear a Guild member complain about the factory’s unexplained closure.
1. Reception area
Standard desk and chair to the right of the entrance. Not much in the desk drawers except some recent transaction history and other records for the factory. The latest records were made less than a month ago.
The room is filled with twenty lollipop maces that become animated when the players enter. They can attack in groups of at least five, making attacks like normal maces (use animated armor for stats, AC 14, HP 15, 1d6 bludgeoning damage). Hidden in the rubble are three treasure chests, which each have a poison needle trap (DMG, 123). In each chest is one of three sentient weapons: Wing, Wave, and Whelm (based on Blackrazer, Wave, and Whelm on DMG, 216–18).
Wing, chaotic, is a Vorpal Sword (DMG, 209) that is meant to behead monsters, especially dragons, though it doesn’t care what it kills. Can speak Draconic. Similar to Blackrazer on DMG, 216.
Wave, a neutral trident, is very much the same as Wave on DMG, 218, except that its origins are actually Orcish, even though it thinks it is from the sea. Therefore, it knows Orc and does not have the fish or water-related abilities. It is more happy-go-lucky, and likes to make sea-related puns. It will recognize its origins, to its dismay, when it arrives in familiar mountains.
Whelm, a lawful warhammer, is much like Whelm on DMG, 218. It may be destined to kill a certain giant. Therefore, it can speak Giant (a distant relative of Dwarvish).
3. Completely blank room, except for a few boxes in the corners and along the walls.
The boxes contain sugar cubes. When the players enter, all must make a DC 15 Dex save or receive 4d10 bludgeoning damage (half damage on success) from the barrage of sugar cubes falling from the ceiling. The room is filled up knee-high with sugar cubes. Then, the cubes assemble into two sugar golems (modified stone golems). Each sugar golem, when destroyed, reveals a small golden disk (golem amulets) that give an almost imperceptible hum. Arcana 15 reveals that they can be attached to a golem made of any material and can become active, a servant of the one who last held the amulet.
4. Broom closets
Each one is completely dark, and contains a gelatinous cube that fills the whole space. No one can see into it from the outside. Once someone steps in, the door slams shut and must be broken by dealing 20 damage to it. The cubes, when defeated, reveal treasure, as described below.
east closet: 500gp, Immovable Rod (DMG, 175), Animated Shield (looks like a lion token, DMG 151)
south closet: 500gp, Iron Bands of Bilarro (DMG, 177), Oil of Sharpness (metal can, DMG, 184), Tesla Rod (Wand of Wonder, DMG, 212)
5. Storage rooms
Members of the Sweetmeat Guild are trapped in the room (1d6 in each room). Each one has different colored hair with what looks like spray-tan barely-orangish skin. They don’t know what’s going on except that their factory was taken over by a warrior who can control the local dinosaurs and other beasts. When they are freed, each one says,
“Opah lopah, skippity gee!
Thanks to you guys, I’m finally free!
Looky, looky, hidden door!
Before you get in, count your keys four!”
They can speak normally, it’s just their nature to speak in annoying rhymes. Before the run out of the factory, they tell the party about a concealed door at the end of the hallway (concealed by a curtain), which opens to stairs leading up. However, the door requires four keys to open, which are found in rooms seven through ten.
6. A very plain hallway with four doors along the north side. Each of the four doors has a small brass number on it, labeling the doors one to four, from left to right (room seven on the map is labeled with a one).
7. A chocolate pond
The floor around it is covered with grass. No other distinguishing features in the room. The key is found when the entire chocolate pond is drained by being consumed by the players. The tasty liquid is such that four medium humanoids combined can consume all the chocolate (one quarter volume each). Each player who drinks the chocolate is given twenty temporary hit points but their speed is cut in half, all for the next hour.
8. Gum room, an old, broken down machine takes up the far corner of the room
Stuck all over the floor, walls, and ceiling are colorful pieces of dirty, used gum. When the players enter, the gum starts to move, collecting at certain spots, eventually becoming ten separate lumps of moist, multicolored ochre jelly. If two clumps move onto the same space, hit points, damage die, and XP are added together. A key is initially found stuck to a far wall, but then it is engulfed in one of the jelly blobs. Killing that blob will release the key.
9. Nut room
A horde of squirrels is inspecting nuts (tossing bad ones into a hole in the middle of the floor that leads to a large incinerator) until one or more of the party barges in. At once, the squirrels attack the one or two party members that are at the door. The room is too small to allow many more players than that to enter the room once the swarm of squirrels begins to attack. The key is buried in the large vat of various nuts on the north side of the room. A DC 17 Investigation check finds the key. If the nuts are dumped on the floor, DC 10 finds the key (but roll a d20 first, because on a 1 the key falls into the incinerator).
10. TV/Ray Gun experimental room
There is a sort of ray gun at the far end of the room, pointed at the center of the room where a crosshair symbol has been painted. There are four large boxes with glass walls (they look like large television sets). Each box has a tiny creature inside. When a player steps on the crosshair, the ray gun teleports and shrinks them to put them randomly into one of the four boxes. Each box contains, from left to right, an ankylosaurus, a young triceratops (level 3), two allosauruses, and eight pteranodons. Yes, they can all breathe fire. Creature(s) is/are defeated, the player is teleported out of the box, returned to normal size, and finds a piece of a key in their hand. Four pieces, one from each box, assemble the key.
There are two small cabinets, one on either end of the door, which contain what look like rock crystal candy but they are actually elemental gems (DMG, 167, green = water, red = fire, blue = air, and yellow = earth). Blue and yellow gems in the left cabinet, green and red in the right cabinet.
1. Entry room for the second floor. Assembly line noises working in other rooms can be heard.
2. Assembly room
There are assembly lines and machines all over the room. Eight tiktoks are working the assembly lines, putting what looks like various pieces of candy put into boxes (the candy is tampered with alchemy, which will allow “uncommoners” to have enhanced abilities to potentially fight back against “commoners,” if things go as the Fury plan). When intruders come, the tiktoks attack.
3. They players go through the doors and find themselves in a small room with Elphabon. He is smiling as he says, “Did you miss me?” Any projectile directed at him vanishes. He tosses a purple potion at the wall behind him and disappears (invisibility) as the stone wall is corroded by the potion. On the other side of the wall (in Room 4) is a Tyrannosaurus Rex (modified, can breathe fire). While they see and interact with Elphabon, everyone rolls a DC 20 Insight check (Jerome’s DC is 15). Whoever makes it can tell something is off with Elphabon. He doesn’t seem to be himself.
4. The Tyrannosaurus Rex attacks the party as soon as the stone wall becomes corroded and it sees the party. Three rounds into this battle, twenty fire-breathing reptillas storm in from room 6. Two rounds later, four Knights of The Fury (two greatswords, two heavy crossbows) enter the battle from room 9.
5. Candy laboratory
Abandoned except for a couple of tables that have small bottles and boxes of candy and alchemy ingredients. These ingredients could be used to make potions or ammunition. If the players step on trap tiles, they receive 2d10 lightning damage. DC 15 Perception and Passive Perception 15 spots a trap tile.
6. Twenty reptillas were here before the battle, 100 gp total in loot.
7. Investigation or Perception DC 20 finds a small pink and green marble, an Ioun Stone (DMG, 177). This one is a leadership stone (Cha increase by 2).
8. Stairs that lead to the third floor.
9. Four knights were here before the battle, 100 gp total in loot.
10. A library
Wait one minute in real time. After that time, the doors shut and are locked and the books come to life, dealing 1d4 bludgeoning damage for every minute the players spend in the room. Each door has AC 10 and HP 30.
The small hallway leading out of this room is a plain hallway with a door at the end. It was used as a way to get around to the rooms on the other side of the floor without crossing through room 4.
1. A shrine to The Fury
Very similar furnishings as the shrine in the Western Fortress (rug, small podium, ancient tome, clockwork black dragon). The dragon activates and speaks and behaves exactly the same as the previous one. The only difference with this room is there is a painting on the right wall (worth 200 gp) of a fire giant. It is labeled, “Argon, Lord of the Fire Giants.”
2. Pedestals spread out across the room, one for each member of the party
Each pedestal has something very appealing to a character (bowl of milk for Jerome, alchemy/gold potion for BetterBorn, shiny pistol for Booth, repair kit for Slade, dragon lore book for Arjan, pan pipes for Sporck, and a bright pink dagger for Jawbreaker if he is there). Anyone who approaches five feet of a pedestal is trapped in a glass box that starts to lift up and smash into walls, causing 1d12 bludgeoning damage to its captor. This situation begins initiative. The class elevators continue to do this, slamming into walls, until broken (AC 14, HP 20). The items on the pedestals are real.
3. Small storage closets
Nothing of note in them except for a small bell in each closet. The bells are in one of three tones, two of the lowest, three of the middle, and one of the highest.
4. The door has a small keyboard on it.
The players must figure out the musical password. The combination is found in the notes of the bells in the closets (see room 3). Sporck can make a DC 13 History check to realize the tune should be the beginning of “The Candy Man” (from the 1971 Willy Wonka movie). Anyone can try the password, but they must try it on an actual keyboard (using a piano app on my phone).
5. A conference room
When the door is opened, the first player must make a DC 15 Perception check. On a success, they notice a trapdoor in the ceiling above the opposite wall of the room. Another Perception check (DC 20) and they notice they stepped on a pressure plate at the foot of the door. Once the pressure plate is triggered (it makes no sound) wait 30 seconds in real time. At the end of the time all players in the room must make a DC 15 Dex save or take 10d10 bludgeoning damage from a giant candy sphere (a jawbreaker), half on a success. DC 20 Strength check moves the sphere. To split the jawbreaker, AC is 18 and HP is 30. Inside players can see multicolored layers with a bright pink center. A DC 10 Perception check reveals the center to be a giant pearl worth 5,000 gp.
6. Fire Room (each elemental room has machines and boxes that store and make certain confections, which have certain effects when consumed)
Cinnimon and spicy candies;
7. Water Room
Ice-cream, mint gum; gives cold resistance
8. Earth Room
Rock crystal candy/chocolate rocks; +1 temporary AC but reduce speed by 10, all for an hour
9. Air Room
Marshmallows, fizzy drinks/Airheads; causes consumers to float, the fan 40 feet up in the ceiling draws them in at a speed of 10, deals 4d10 slashing damage when it hits a player, players can come down if they burp (either by saying their character does so, or if the player physically does so in real life).
10. The entryway into the final room, decorated with six expensive works of art (250 gp each) and a certificate welcoming the recipient into The Fury, similar to what was found in the Western Fortress (all paintings by Jay-Lo, his certificate also). The heavy doors are closed, but unlocked.
Final Room: Where the Sweetmeat Guild used to have their meetings. The room is mostly empty except for a table and a few chairs on a dais opposite the heavy doors. Two inactive engine golems (advanced tiktoks, modified shield guardians) stand between the doors and the dais. The players see Elphabon at the table, grinning at them, greeting them the same way he did when they first met (“Well it’s about time!”). He snaps his fingers and the players realize it was not Elphabon at all, but a rakshasa in disguise. Jerome recognizes this figure as Jay-Lo, an older and much more experienced gladiator. Jay-Lo cheerfully greets Jerome and asks him to come back.
Before the battle starts, Jay-Lo pushes a button to start the tiktoks, which make a very loud clanking rhythm. Pulling a lever, Jay-Lo brings down a gelatinous cube on each tiktok, muffling the tiktok sounds, creating the effect of two huge boom boxes. Jay-Lo delivers the following rap to the boom box rhythm (italicized syllables are on the strong beat):
“Ay-o, ay-o, ay-, ay-o, yo,
Welcome to this funkytown show!
As you’re tryin’ to rock and shock a rakshasa,
How can we get this party to move along fasta?
“Hey yo, say hello to the Vibe Squad.
Like a dope cantelope, it should be outlawed!
Now Jerome, back at home, with his crazy cat, Jay-Lo,
We can vibe, side by side, like the old times. Ay-o!”
The sound of the tiktok/gelatin boom boxes is such that all players who hear the noise must succeed a DC 15 Wisdom save or be stunned (can roll the save again at each turn, at success they become immune to the effect). Jay-Lo’s rap is such that all players must make a DC 15 Charisma save or be charmed (disadvantage on any attack roll against Jay-Lo, can roll the save again at each turn, at success the effect ends).